A Brief Conversation on Post Surgical Depression
Or What I Think of As Melancholy
Although I experience suicidal thoughts as an autistic, I do not consider myself depressed even though some of my psychiatric medications are used for depression.
Honestly, I see myself more classically as melancholy. According to Google, melancholy is “a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.”
That sadness of a wealthy young aristocrat in English countryside novels.
The problem is, ever since my surgery this past April, I’ve been so unmotivated to the point of not routinely bathing. I would simply sit on the sofa watching YouTubes or Anime all day. My NT wife has noticed how off I’ve been.
It’s only recently that I feel a little better, but not by much.
I discovered that there’s a thing called Post-Surgical Depression. I mentioned my problems at a recent cardiological appointment, and he concurred that I might have that and should follow up with my psychologist or therapist.
I wish the doctors had warned me about this one. It’s bad enough for several days in advance I had to stop many of my psych medications. Not a good idea to do for lots of reasons.
There are a few causes of Post-Surgical Depression:
Cognitive dysfunction
Pain
A compromised immune system
General anesthesia
Depression and postoperative complications
Honestly, I already have some depression. Many autistic people report having depression and worries. With me, you can see the depression in my urine. And the anesthesia was weird this time. I awoke into a dream only to have nurses yelling at me to wake up. I didn’t want to wake up because the dream was way better than reality.
I suppose the autism could be a cognitive dysfunction, but I didn’t have any postoperative complications. In fact, I impressed the staff with how well I did postoperatively.
Is taking me off medications before surgery a factor in my post-surgical depression? Being off my psych medications probably complicated things, but who knows because no one studies these effects.
This herniated disc replacement was the first major surgery I’ve had in my life. So, maybe on some mental level, this is affecting my mental state. A realization I’m becoming old where parts start getting replaced. It didn’t help my mother, whose had many joints replaced, told me “Welcome to old age.”
Therefore, I’ve re-entered psychotherapy once more in my life at my wife’s behest. I’m lucky that my wife’s work has benefits that cover it so I can follow up on this problem.
In my opinion, to achieve free universal medical care in the U.S., let’s begin with universal psychological care and train a group of individuals to assist communities on the streets and at home.
