I was in my late 30s to early 40s when I was diagnosed. There was no lightbulb for me. Only confirmation of my wife’s suspicions. For me, it shattered my mind into two realities. I had always seen myself as a person like everyone else. Nothing unique. Now I was being told I had autism. So now I live with two parts of myself. A part that was one way, and a part that is another. From my understanding, It is not uncommon for men going through couple therapy to be told they are autistic only for the man to deny the diagnosis with rage and fury at such an absurd idea. Male resistance to the idea of being told they are something else than what they've known their whole life can be mentally unsettling.